being bad ass and tough means having an open and tender heart, from Fleetwood/Majestic Luxery-Legay. Thanks for introducing me to the saying, “be careful with each other so we can be dangerous together”.
“We tell our kids what not to put up with from romantic partners; from parents; from older relatives. We don’t so much tell them that these are also not okay things for friends to do.”
Body type was useless as a predictor of how the men would fare in life. So was birth order or political affiliation. Even social class had a limited effect. But having a warm childhood was powerful. As George Vaillant, the study director, sums it up in “Triumphs of Experience,” his most recent summary of the research, “It was the capacity for intimate relationships that predicted flourishing in all aspects of these men’s lives.”
“The opposite of monogamy is not just promiscuity, but the absence or the impossibility of coupledom itself.”
from Billy. “Organizations that deal with domestic violence and sexual assault generally view violence as an individual problem or rely on the police and criminal justice system as a solution. We wanted to turn back to our communities and strengthen community-based systems to resist violence in all of its forms.”
Ouuuuuch. “Friendship with black people and even being a black person does nothing to change racial bias. Indeed, almost one-third of black people hold similarly negative views.”